Shedding the old, Bringing in the new
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| Roots |
By seeds, I mean, "Intention," "Stability," and "Groundedness." I made goals. I set my gaze, I shifted my weight towards a new direction. Much like in skiing or snowboarding, just turn your head and shoulders, shift your weight in the direction you'd like to go.
In the "dead of winter," I mean, in my depression. In my lowest state, in the weight of my hurt, and in the midst of my gravity of despair. I couldn't stay how I was. I didn't want to.
It has been a journey, a long journey. A tiring, frustrating journey. A journey of poverty, scarcity, eviction, turbulence and also amazing blessings. These past few chapters have seemed (nay) been long, but the pages are turning and the chapter is changing. Oh My Freakin' Gosh, it feels so good to be excited.
I have a new love. Her name is Vanessa. We have been seeing each other since February of 2020, right before the world ended due to Covid-19. Her name means "Butterfly" and she has truly become more and more beautiful and someone that makes me so happy to be with. She has been on a similar journey of her own. Like I always say, "it's funny how the wind blows." There's no rhythm to which it follows, no pattern to predict, no form it fills. It's up, it's down, it's all around, all at the same time. There's no seeing it, but you feel it when it happens, igniting every nerve in your body, firing every sense. It's magic every time (much like the ruach or ruach hakodesh of the Lord).
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| Vanessa |
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| New Years Eve 2020 |
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| Our new place |
I have a "new" job too. I started back in the fall. I don't LOVE it, but it's good and it's fine. I really want to get back into my career with nonprofit, or maybe something cool like City Planning or Urban somethingrather. We'll see how the pages turn, but for now, the story continues. I'm most excited to give my kids a home, a place to stay and have more than a suitcase to live out of. I'm excited to feel excited. It's amazing to have something really cool to look forward to. It's amazing to feel in love again..at 40 years old. It's nice having someone to dine with, to dance with, to sit on the porch with, to pray with, to hope with, to struggle with. It's great to feel happy. God bless it, what a blessing happiness is. I hope you pursue what makes you happy, not cheap thrills, but something that you want in your life. Set your gaze and shift yourself in that direction.
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| Me and Vanessa |
you must first grow and root down.
Root down to rise up.
Peace be with you, Friends.
Mikey B.
Comments
Matthew 5 section 43-48 says: "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
In Old Testament, the Jewish people and their ancestors were given the Law to observe. First, What Adam and Eve should observe was that they could not eat the fruits from the tree of wisdom. Then, their son Cain was told that he should not kill. As sins became increased, the laws were also added more. Up to the generation of Moses, the Law in Old Testament was given to Israelites. We know that the Law is good and the Law is used to punish people who commit sins, but people cannot obey the Law because the sinful spirits are in people. Even that we know stealing and giving false testimony are sinful, but greedy and pride spirits in us drive us to do sinful things. So as Old Testament prophesied we need to get rid of our sinful nature from our spirits.
Ezekiel 36 section 24-27 says: "'For I will take you out of the nations; I will gather you from all the countries and bring you back into your own land. I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.
The prophecies are fulfilled when Jesus begins to teach love. The two greatest commandments are " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" Love is above the Law and if people have love they are free from the law of sin and death. People who are full of love will not think about stealing or giving false testimony but are merciful and they feed hungry people or give thirsty people something to drink or invite strangers in or clothe people who need clothes. The Law is for people who commit sins. Nobody will say that he will get reward because he does not steal before. But love is the grace we get. And with love we will get eternal life.
Romans 13 section 8-10 says: Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
John 4 section 23-24 says: Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."