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June 14, 2012

Your Faith is a "?"

This is my journey. I'd rather look back on the journey that I'm currently on and tell you all how crazy it all was, how I was scared and full of anxiety, how I didn't know what life would be like in a month from now, and how God made everything come together and it was great. I would like to, but that's not how I'm approaching this time in my life. I want to share a front seat 

It's all been so backwards. This is how we did it- we told our employers we're moving, we sold our house, we moved into a short-term lease apartment (oh, we move out a week from today, because out lease it up), and we have no jobs and no place to go. 

Usually it would go like this- Our employer is transferring or relocating us (so we know we have a job some place else), we start looking for a place to live, we have a definitely end date in mind, we move and we know where we're going. Thus, there's some security in mind. 

Why would we do this? (By the way, the "we" is my wife and I and our 2 children).
Prayer made me do it. God has been speaking and leading us. It's about faith.

This process began about 3 years ago doing what I do most mornings- coffee & prayer. I had been released from my job. A job that I poured my heart and soul into. A job that has ruined my life for better and worse. It was totally out of the blue, random like the wind that blows, and people that were my friends were no longer. I was left alone. It was a dark chapter; a chapter of my life that was full of mystery and full of anxiety. It was a devastating time, but God was still there. God never left me. My family and I were provided for and we made it out of that wretched, miserable place. All through that time I continued to meet the Lord for coffee talk. My life had ups and downs (still does), but only two things remained the same: my coffee was warm and the Lord was there. 

The hears you when you pray...and, if you listen, the Lord speaks to you as well.

I was having breakfast with a gentleman telling him my situation, and he responded, in what I thought at the time very unexpected,  he said, "Go through this. Don't wish this away." I was shocked, did not hear me? I was angry. However, he was right. That's the word I had been asking for. The Lord spoke to me that morning. He had answered my prayers and he opened my eyes.

Harry Potter deserves a mention here.  There are 7 books in the HP series. In book one Harry meets eminent danger, but he pulls through. Little does he know, he can't die in book one, because there are 6 more books named after him to follow. But Harry doesn't know that, only the reader does. Every good novel has different literary elements in it: conflict, mystery, romance, drama, adventure, horror, heartbreak, drama, comedy, etc. If you're in the story it's impossible to know what on the next page (to even know there is a next page). Danger can look eminent, but little might we know that we're only just beginning- there are 6 more volumes to come. I was in the midst of a certain chapter of my life. I wanted to turn the page, but Lord said, "No. Stay here. It's not over yet. There is so much more to come, but you can't see it yet." 

So much has happened since that time and I'll share it and write more soon. I feel a certain undeserved peace about what lies ahead, but right now all I have are questions. 

There is a special thing going on right now as I write this. "A Brand New Colony" by The Postal Service is playing in the background.  I find it so fitting and assuring for what the Lord is doing in my life right now.

(some of the lyrics)

"I want to take you far from the cynics in this town 
And kiss you on the mouth 
We'll cut out bodies free from the tethers of this scene, 
Start a brand new colony 
Where everything will change, 
We'll give ourselves new names (identities erased) 
The sun will heat the grounds 
Under our bare feet in this brand new colony 
Everything will change, oOo oOo..."


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