A Heart-Centered Prayer

I take time to breathe,
I listen,
I feel my heart,
My breathing is irregular,
Fast,
I stop to feel it and feel it more,
It slows, 
I am creating space
for me to feel,
to hear,
to listen,
I'm transcended into a different place,
Invisible yet real,
very real.


I'm confronted with my own thoughts,
what's eating at me,
What's been keeping me away from this place,
I'm guilty.


What better love can ever be found?
How sweet a place as this can one ever enter into by their own means?
Why would I desire another place?
So quickly I am to be succumbed by the great whore of the world 
and I let myself to be swept up in her arms. 


There is no comfort there,
There is comfort here,
I feel my pulse, my lungs,
All my anxieties are leaving me,
My eyes well up,
And I am reminded yet again.


My life is not my own,
I want to give the light and life that you have given to me
to others,
I am guilty before you.
In your presence I feel
shame yet light,
dread yet warmth,
despair yet hope,
chills.
All of heaven and earth adore you,
All of heaven sings your praise,
The angels in beautiful chorus sing,
Sing, Sing, Sing,
Holy, Holy, Holy
is the Lord God Almighty.


I want to flee and remain here,
I feel my heart return 
and I'm back.


amen.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Living with a girl named Borderline Personality Disorder: A Short Tale of My Relationship

Image
You don't believe in me, never have. And, you always leave. Before I ever met you, I made a commitment in my heart and to God, about being honest and faithful and living with integrity. I carved out space for myself to be able to accept what The Lord was about to put in front of me. I envisioned what I wanted, put my goals into focus, then you came along and other things started to fall right into place. There were lots of red flags, mind you, but it was just some dates. There were no big commitments to make, so I went with it.  Our first year was awesome. You were loud and rude and aggressive, but those things I overlooked. Yes you had two kids from two different men, with odd entanglements and you were only 33 at the time. Still, okay, not ideal but, again, it was just hanging out, no big commitments. Then the world shut down. You were on me like a hound. Never wanting to let me spend time alone or a part. Showing up outside of my place, unannounced at times. Okay, you were kind
Read more

My Coffee is Warm

Image
This is my truth, the truth that is always true. It has taken me years and years and years to get too. So many hours, so many early mornings, so many coffees, so many places, so much time spent.  Over the years, over the course of my life, things change. I change, my weight changes, my body shape changes, the cities I live in changes. I'm in different states, different countries, different places. I have a lot, then I have nothing. I'm in good health, then I feel sick. Friends and people I meet come and go. Best friends become enemies and enemies have become best friends. Everything changes. I'm married, now I'm divorced. I was raising my kids, now they live someplace else.  It's nice outside, then it's not. A storm rolls in and it's crummy and gloomy, then it's sunny and beautiful. Everything changes.  Times are hard, then they're good. I have bad days, then I have good days. I'm anxious, then I'm at peace. Everything changes. I have been fi
Read more

Rugged Where You Are.

Image
Who has time for anyone else's shit? No one. No one has time for anyone else's shit. Nobody has time for that. There are so many hurt people out here with us in the world. They are all around. Everywhere I look, every post I see- there's hurt. Anxieties, mental health issues, traumas, brokenness, chaos, destruction, self destruction, sadness, hurt hurt hurt! So much hurt. So much pain, and anger too. Toxicity, narcissism, manipulations, assaults, abuses of every kind.  So much fucking hurt. And, everyone is carrying this hurt around with them. It's undealt with. So it sits there,  it tucks itself far beneath the surface, far below the skin, past the muscle tissues, it goes past your protective rib cage, it burrows deep into the secret chambers of your heart-the source and machine of your very life. The pump-house to your entire body-your lungs, your veins, your legs, your hands, your eyes, your brain, your feet, every fiber and cell of your life is sourced from your hea
Read more