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May 19, 2013

My Life as Grass



This is a picture of grass with weeds in it. That's crabgrass in the picture. This isn't a picture from my lawn, but my yard does have weeds in it. Some weeds more easily removed than others. Crabgrass is fairly easy to kill off, but some put up a great fight to stay alive. My yard has has the fighting kind. My North Carolina lawn has wonderful fescue with some bermuda sprinkles around randomly and fighting weeds. I don't know what kind they are...I'm still learning my NC "weedology."

My life right now is like my lawn, it has weeds. The fighting kind.  

So let me get real and make a transition from a real tangible example to a more spiritually one. Let's call my "weeds" sin. No, scratch that. My weeds are more like demons- spiritual demons. They don't leave me alone. They always call out and persecute me. It's very much like hearing voices, but there is another I hear too. That other voice is the voice of Christ. I am always hearing these voices. What voice you listen to matters, it matters tremendously. 

What voices are listening too? For instance, do listen to all the compliments and positive things people say to you or do you just listen to their criticisms? Do you listen to your own sense of self worth or do you choose to listen to the many ads saying you're not good enough? Have you heard that you're loved and valued or have you heard that you're stupid and unwanted? Which voice you choose to host within matters greatly.  Let's take bullying as another example. Kids pick on other kids and say horrible things, but that kid, the one who gets bullied, probably has loving and supportive parents at home who love him (of her). That child receives all kinds of loving care and compliments. That child, too, hears voices. We all do. Every single one of us. My heart breaks when I hear of a child that commits suicide due to bullying,  because that kid let the horrible and mean voices get to them. 

These voices, the bad ones, are like weeds. They grow and fester and fight. The quick and easy solution to my weed problem would be kill the weeds. Pull them out, right? Wrong. I wish it was that simple. I'm reminded of the text in Matt. 13 about the Kingdom of God being like good seed planted in a field. In the text the landowner says you can't just pull up the weeds, because you'll pull up the wheat from the good seed along with them. They must grow together until the harvest time. 

I need weed n' feed and the word of God is my weed n' feed. 

If you pay attention to those other "weedy" voices long enough it leads to all kinds of mess. A messy life, anxiety, anger, low self-worth, sleepless nights, irritation, frustration. The list goes on and on. Once you have these issues long enough, it's a no brainer, but your sense of relationship with God suffers. You feel like God is punishing you or something.  But God isn't punishing you, it's those god-awful weeds.  Sin ("weeds") entangles and suffocates and strangles. God hasn't left and neither have you. It's all about what voices you listen to and hear. 

God speaks all the time, every day in every way, all over the place. 

So back to my weeds. The Lord spoke today and he let me know my weeds won't win. It was awesome news, because I felt like they would. I felt my "weeds" taking over and changing the course of my life, but the Lord spoke and it changed everything. I know this blog is open to anyone, but this part I write for you Lord: I hear you. It's loud and clear. You have never left and I won't either. All I want is you and I have spent everything I have on that. No one in this world awards anything for that. It is very discouraging at times. Scratch that, most times. All I have is you. Sometimes I want more, but today my sanity is back. As the old song goes and encourages me yet again: "...You can have all this world, but gives me Jesus." 

Lord be with y'all!

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